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We've been close companions for more than 20 years, who has overcome numerous challenges, which I admire. But, she's repeatedly blindsided by people. Her partner walked away, and it was a massive blow. Several of her social circle disappeared then, as they were focused solely on the spouse. It shocked her deeply. She put in greater energy to be my friend, and must have grasped better the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern In Relationships

In the time since, several in her circle have disappeared and she isn't certain of the reason. The company she worked for became hostile, despite the fact that she had been very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of why things shifted.

Present Situation

Recently, we have each left the workforce leading to more each other more, however, I feel my position in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points only for her to redirect them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she holds unyielding views. My effort is to recommend verifying facts or other angles.

She is organizing a trip abroad I have traveled to on several occasions and lived in for a while. I attempted to provide personal experiences, however, my input not welcomed. She really solely sought me to confirm her decisions. I recently ended four weeks in that place and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to act as a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the effect of how she acts on my self-esteem. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

You could end things abruptly, but it is rarely a smooth outcome we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with a view to resolution demands strength and readiness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step requires explaining how things go when you talk. This needs to be as factual as possible and essentially exactly what occurs. Step two is to tell how this leaves you feeling. This allows for no argument here. What you feel are valid, after all. The third step is to ask how you are both will alter the dynamics between you."

Consider your friend has her own side, so you need to be prepared to hear that. An approach that works is telling your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to remain silent for 30 minutes."

This can be effective to encourage understanding.

Closing Considerations

She may dismiss your concerns, as some people have a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they cannot let go of since their identity relies on it being the only thing they trust. This is difficult when there seems no easy route in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could at first react like this then consider on your words. And even if a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have satisfaction that you've been open and direct.